Being New Year's Eve, I had to write the inevitable 'review of the year' post really.
Towards the end of 2012, it was pretty good as we'd just got married. However, spoiling our honeymoon period a little, I lost my job last December. This led to my depression going from mild to moderate/severe, which (of course) led to compulsive overeating. I gained back almost all of the stone I'd lost in 2012 (a 12lb gain, to be exact) over about 3 months.
So I was feeling pretty useless last winter, but thankfully an opportunity to do some admin for a carers' charity came up. This helped me to feel rather less useless, gave me some good work experience and (most importantly) helped them out for a few months.
In feeling better about myself I was able to start losing some weight again. As summer rolled round, the work at the charity dried up, but by then I was back on the Fluoxetine (an antidepressant) so I was able to continue feeling better.
In July, I did a course in employability and computer skills - something else to boost my self-esteem. That was months ago and I'm still not in work, but the ECDL qualification should help me to get something eventually.
Talking of self-esteem, perhaps the best thing for my mental health this year has been the Self-Esteem group I've attended (run by the NHS). Knowing that other people feel a similar way to me, and having a structured course and good advice from the ladies who ran it on how to work on not feeling like that, has been very helpful. The course was largely based on a book called Overcoming Low Self-Esteem. I made some good friends on that course, who I hope to continue seeing.
I can't say I'm fixed quite yet, but I'm getting there! My new year's resolutions are about working towards getting better, and getting my life back on track.
The main life-back-on-track resolution is to get a job. Rather more easily said than done, but essential for my mental health and my husband's.
I also want to lose at least a stone, perhaps even a stone and a half (21lbs) to get to my goal weight. To get to a size 12 in 2014 would be a nice achievement.
Another resolution is to continue to work on my mental health. To be kinder yet firmer with myself in working towards improving my life.
I'd also like to be more creative in 2014, so I've started a new art journal. Not in a diary like previous years, so no pressure to record every day. I intend to draw/write something as often as I can though, whether it is a positive affirmation, an emotional rant or just a doodle.
At my heaviest this year, I weighed 11st 4lbs (in March I think), and at my last weigh-in of the year (20th Dec) I weighed 10st 1lb - a loss of 1st 3lbs (17lbs) in 2013. If I can have a similar loss in 2014, I'll be very close to my goal! Dread to to think what I weigh after the Christmas eating and drinking though ...
Happy New Year to anyone who might be reading this. We'll be spending it with Big Bang Theory and wine. Here's to a 2014 full of possibilities!
