Eat yourself happy?

So I didn't get to my Valentine's Day goal of 10st. Never mind. I've been doing this long enough to know I shouldn't set myself those kinds of deadlines. The human body doesn't work like that. Well, mine doesn't anyway!

This month's WW Magazine has an article on how to lose "that pesky last half stone". What about that pesky last stone and a half? There are some good tips on stepping it up that apply to someone like me who has been doing this forever (well, 4 years) though. Some of which I already do, like continuing to weigh most things I eat, some of which I could start doing, like increasing my activity level.

There's also an article on how to "Eat yourself happy", which seems to be what I try to do. Though not in the healthy nuts-eggs-and-veggies way they suggest. In the chocolate-biscuits-and-crisps way. On the weekend, I tend not to be Willpower Girl like I am on weekdays, and feel the need to consume all the foods, or rather all the volume of unhealthy food, that I denied myself in the week.

Image by Hyperbole and a Half

As long as I track I can control it though; use my 49 weeklies for weekend treats and then stick to my 26 dailies in the week, and it's fine. Last weekend however, I used up all my 49 by the end of Saturday. Instead of having a sensible Sunday, I just ate what I felt like. So I ended up not having as big a loss as I'd hoped for. I still lost half a pound though, and every loss is good. I just need to control myself a bit more if I want to have bigger losses.

I am, however, doing some things right. One of my favourite weekend breakfasts is two slices of toast, one with Marmite and one cut into soldiers, with a soft-boiled egg for 7PPs. Which, according to this from WW Magazine, seems pretty good.

I also walked 4.87 miles yesterday (thank you trusty pedometer) and my feet keep reminding me of that.

I need to do that getting out of the house thing more, but winter (and the joy of depression) makes me want to hibernate.

From my art journal

I am doing better than I was this time last year. I was doing the hibernating thing and the binge eating every day thing. I gained some weight. I'm not in that place now though (yay Prozac). I just need to keep trying, and stay positive. It'll be spring soon!

Also from my art journal

Hello January

So after the inevitable 'review of the year' post came the inevitable Christmas weight gain. I was aiming to be 10st on my last weigh-in before Christmas, and I was 10st 1lb so that's good enough for me. I planned to eat (and drink) what I wanted over the two weeks after that, which of course I did, so I expected a gain and the 4lbs I put on was not too disastrous.

I've lost 2lbs of those 4, so I think I can get to 10st for Valentine's Day. Four weeks to lose 3lbs is definitely achievable.

Last year's Valentine's chocolates. Om nom nom.

I had a look back at what I weighed early last year, and I'm 10lbs lighter than I was this time last year. 1st 1lb lighter than I was in March, in fact. Which is nice. Well, the compulsion to overeat wasn't nice but I have that under control now. I relax a bit and use my 49 ProPoints for takeaways and treats at the weekend, then stick to my daily 26PPs on weekdays. Which gives a nice balance of indulgence and control which seems to work for me.

Talking of indulgence, it's Friday and I've just been weighed, so I'm off to eat things!

The inevitable 'review of the year' post

Being New Year's Eve, I had to write the inevitable 'review of the year' post really.

Towards the end of 2012, it was pretty good as we'd just got married. However, spoiling our honeymoon period a little, I lost my job last December. This led to my depression going from mild to moderate/severe, which (of course) led to compulsive overeating. I gained back almost all of the stone I'd lost in 2012 (a 12lb gain, to be exact) over about 3 months.

So I was feeling pretty useless last winter, but thankfully an opportunity to do some admin for a carers' charity came up. This helped me to feel rather less useless, gave me some good work experience and (most importantly) helped them out for a few months.

In feeling better about myself I was able to start losing some weight again. As summer rolled round, the work at the charity dried up, but by then I was back on the Fluoxetine (an antidepressant) so I was able to continue feeling better.

In July, I did a course in employability and computer skills - something else to boost my self-esteem. That was months ago and I'm still not in work, but the ECDL qualification should help me to get something eventually.

Talking of self-esteem, perhaps the best thing for my mental health this year has been the Self-Esteem group  I've attended (run by the NHS). Knowing that other people feel a similar way to me, and having a structured course and good advice from the ladies who ran it on how to work on not feeling like that, has been very helpful. The course was largely based on a book called Overcoming Low Self-Esteem. I made some good friends on that course, who I hope to continue seeing.

I can't say I'm fixed quite yet, but I'm getting there! My new year's resolutions are about working towards getting better, and getting my life back on track.

The main life-back-on-track resolution is to get a job. Rather more easily said than done, but essential for my mental health and my husband's.

I also want to lose at least a stone, perhaps even a stone and a half (21lbs) to get to my goal weight. To get to a size 12 in 2014 would be a nice achievement.

Another resolution is to continue to work on my mental health. To be kinder yet firmer with myself in working towards improving my life.

I'd also like to be more creative in 2014, so I've started a new art journal. Not in a diary like previous years, so no pressure to record every day. I intend to draw/write something as often as I can though, whether it is a positive affirmation, an emotional rant or just a doodle.

At my heaviest this year, I weighed 11st 4lbs (in March I think), and at my last weigh-in of the year (20th Dec) I weighed 10st 1lb - a loss of 1st 3lbs (17lbs) in 2013. If I can have a similar loss in 2014, I'll be very close to my goal! Dread to to think what I weigh after the Christmas eating and drinking though ...

Happy New Year to anyone who might be reading this. We'll be spending it with Big Bang Theory and wine. Here's to a 2014 full of possibilities! 

Nearly halfway there!

So, after a couple of months of ups and downs, I've got down to the lowest weight I've been since I started Weight Watchers. I lost 1/2lb this week, taking me down to 10st 9.5lb, which is a loss of 26lbs (1st 11.5lb) so far, woo. I have just 2.5lbs to go until I'm halfway there, and will have lost 2st of the 4 I decided to lose when I started in February 2010. I should be able to lose those 2.5lbs in a couple of weeks - fingers crossed!

Want these shoes for my wedding!

I've bought my wedding dress (well, my Mum has anyway!) since I last posted, in a size smaller than I currently am. I'd love to be a size 12 (1st 2.5lbs (16.5lbs) to go) for my wedding day in the Autumn, though I'd still be happy with being on the slim end of size 14. I think size 14 is a more realistic goal! I'd have to have my dress taken in if I get any slimmer than that - not that that would be a bad thing at all :) Now I just need to get my shoes, jewellery, hair accessories ...

Image from Elle

I will have to treat myself to something nice once I reach that size 14 milestone. The shops are starting to get their Autumn ranges in, so it would be good to get me some new season clothes. Disappointing British summers tend to make me want to just skip this season altogether and go straight to Autumn. Fashion magazines start talking about A/W trends about now, and I get impatient to start wearing new things - nice jackets and such. Looks like there will be some decent military/utility jackets around this season - I do like this one from Burberry Prorsum, and their little bow belts - perfect for showing off the tiny little waist that I will have! I do like a bit of velvet too, which looks like it's coming back for A/W - a good incentive for slimming back into my size 14 velvet dresses. Though I'll probably end up going geek chic in a big knit like I usually do. At least I'll be on-trend!

A little treat

A half a pound weight loss this week, and 2.5lbs off last week, means that I now only have 3.5lbs to go until I'm 10st 7lb, halfway to goal, and a size 14. I've been planning for a while that I would treat myself to a few new clothes once I got to size 14, and this week I couldn't wait. I like to give myself some little non-food treats sometimes when I've lost weight, and Friday just happened to be payday. So I went to New Look straight after my meeting, saw some purple skinnies and tried them on. Size 14, and they zipped right up. So I had to have them.

I've been wearing a few 14s lately anyway - I wear a size 14 skirt to work most days. Won't be long til I've lost the 3.5lbs and I'm 'officially' a size 14! The jeans will fit better then, lol. It took me about 6 months to drop my first dress size, but that was nearly two years ago, so I've been waiting a long time for this! I have the wedding to motivate me now though, so I will get there, and beyond to size 12.

I have 1st 3.5lbs (17.5lbs) to go until I'm 9st 7lb, and a size 12. If I want to be there for the wedding, I have 17.5lbs to lose in 24 weeks. I can do it!

Inch Loss

So, in the past eight weeks, I have lost 2" from my waist, 1.5" from my hips, and 2" from my thigh. Gained half an inch on my upper arm though, randomly. Maybe I've gained muscle at the gym? An error in measurements is more likely though, and it is only half an inch after all!

I've lost on average half a pound a week since I restarted Weight Watchers. It's not a vast amount, but 4.5lbs (down from 11st 6lb to 11st 1.5lb) is enough of a loss to see a difference, so I'm happy. If I can lose 8.5lbs in the next 6 weeks I'll be a size 14 for my 30th birthday (29th April), which would be great, but I'll be happy to get there by the summer. The main goal for this year is to be a size 12 for our wedding, which will hopefully be at the end of October (even though we haven't got anything booked yet!), so fingers crossed (and eyes crossed so I can't see cakes) for that.

Progress

1.5lbs off last week, and half a pound off today, so now I've lost a third of the dreaded 9lbs that I'd put on between July and January. Lose a pound a week for the next six weeks, and I will have got rid of the dreaded 9lbs, lost more than half a stone, and be getting more of the aforementioned vouchers. Losing half a stone before the end of the month sounds good to me. Keep losing at the same rate, and I might even finally get to size 14 for my 30th birthday!

Back on it

Just been for my fourth meeting since I've restarted Weight Watchers, and I've lost a pound so far. Had lost 1/2 lb the second week, then put it back on (oops - naughty chips), and lost 1 lb this week. Feeling optimistic that I can keep it up :)

Hoping to lose a stone by the summer - I need to dig out a summery size 14 dress for inspiration :D

Bad news and good

Ugh. I have put on 9lbs since July, when I last went to Weight Watchers. Nine pounds. A few of those can be blamed on Christmas, but it's still pretty bad. I weighed that much 18 months ago.

I hadn't been to meetings because I was unable to get more vouchers, due to not having lost enough weight. I get vouchers to go to WW for free via my GP, as I have PCOS and my BMI is over 30. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, or PCOS, is an illness that is partly caused by being overweight, and also causes sufferers to put on weight. Treatments for it include weight loss, hence the free vouchers. I get 12 week's worth of vouchers at a time, and they generally recommend that I lose about half a stone during that 12-week period. I didn't lose anything this time round though, so no vouchers for me.

Good news is that, after a "6 month cooling off period" (not sure who is supposed to be cooling off) I have been able to apply for more vouchers and should be getting them soon. So the weight can start to come back off again, and I can stop feeling like I'm letting myself down.

I am making some effort though - I joined a gym, and have been going 2-3 times a week since early November. I hadn't lost any weight with that, though muscle does weigh more than fat (not just an excuse - the personal trainer said so!). So I may be fatter, but at least I'm getting fitter. My limbs feel more toned, and my stamina is steadily improving. I'm finding that I enjoy it too, which is quite a surprise! Me enjoying exercise. That's just wrong XD

Another half pound off

Right. I've had 10 of my weekly points already, and weigh-in was only 12 hours ago. Think I should stop now :) Need to save some for tomorrow's Chinese takeaway, nom nom nom.

Another half pound off this week:



It's a little frustrating to only lose half a pound, but I have to remember that every loss is good! 3.5lbs to go til I get to 10st 7, and get my next silver 7. Hopefully I'll finally manage to get there by the end of this month.

Hopefully 10st 7 will mean size 14 like I've been saying for months now. I have in fact started wearing a couple of size 14s lately, though to be honest they are still a little bit small! Lose another inch though, and they'll be fine.

Ups and downs

I lost half a pound this week, which is nice.



With all the healthy eating, I'd expected to lose more, but every loss is a good loss!



Slightly depressingly though, I only weigh a pound less than I did on the 7th of October. I've been up and down since then.



It's down over all though, so that's something positive. Did I mention that I've lost 5 inches from my hips since I started (last February)? :)

Control Yourself!

I succeeded at controlling myself last week, and lost 2lbs on Friday. Hurrah! Just need to keep it up and I'll see some more losses. And remember that, in the long run, losing weight is much more fun than pigging out!

However, while I know this, I still succumb to the urge to pig out. Weekends seem to be the worst for it. While it's ok to have some treats, I have a tendency to really overdo it. I went way over my weekly points at the weekend.



I'm back on track now though - only had 25 PPs yesterday, and I'll carry on controlling myself through the week. Hopefully I'll manage to have a loss, but I'll know why if I don't!

A Challenge

Put on half a pound this week, oops. Not as bad as I thought it would be though, considering I've eaten a ridiculous amount. Having nice things like choc ices, biscuits, KitKats and cheese in is not a good idea for me! I still don't have as much self-control as I'd like. Got lots of fruit in instead now though, so that should help me.



It will be a challenge this week though to lose anything at all! Saturday tomorrow, which is takeaway night (pizza this week), then it's Easter (noms aplenty), and on Wednesday we're going out for a curry for my birthday. What I need to do is to not waste my weekly points, and save them for those days. I can haz willpower?

Somehow I don't think I'm going to be a size 14 for the 29th! I'm not that far off though - 4lbs to go til I'm 10st7 which, if every stone lost equals a dress size, will take me down to a 14.

Progress

Okay, so I'm wearing layers in the first one, and the sun is doing a pretty good job of hiding my double chin in the second, but you can tell I've lost weight :)



Especially since the jeans I'm wearing were a size too small for me when I started at 12st7, and are now getting too big for me. ^_^

Take off your skinny jeans ...

Tried on one of my pairs of size 14 jeans just now. I think of them as my skinny jeans, although technically they're straight legs. Anyway, they do up (just)! I've had to lie down to do them up before, but I can do them up standing up now. That's an achievement to me anyway :P

I'm slowly but surely losing inches:



Just another inch or two (5lbs?) til I can actually wear my size 14s! I won't get there by the end of this month like I'd hoped, but I will get there for my birthday. Which, incidentally, is the same day as the Royal Wedding. I may even have lost 29lbs, for my 29th birthday on the 29th of April! XD

10% again

In my previous post, I mentioned getting back down to my 10% goal of 11st 3lbs. Well now I'm 11st 2lbs, woo! Lost three pounds this week :) So now I know what's in the Totally 10% booklet:



It's full of motivational stuff, like the health benefits of weight loss, and how to get into good habits.





Losing 3lbs this week has got me thinking. If I lose 3lbs a week, I'll be a size 14 by Mid March. Or if I lose 2lbs a week, I'll be size 14 by late March.

I'm aiming for a size 12 eventually, though my goal weight might make me slimmer than that. I worked out in this post from last year that, because I was a size 18 when I started, at 12st 7lbs, and I got down to a size 16 when I was about 11st 7lbs, that losing a stone also equals dropping a dress size. If I'm right about that, I'll go like this:

Size 18 = 12st 7lbs (My starting size/weight)
Size 16 = 11st 7lbs (I'm currently 11st 2lbs)
Size 14 = 10st 7lbs (9lbs to go)
Size 12 = 9st 7lbs
Size 10 = 8st 7lbs

If I do end up a size 10 though, I'll be able to shop in teen ranges (both size 10 and age 14-15 have a 27.5" waist, according to the New Look website), which should save me a bit of money. And if I get down to a size 8(!) I'll be able to wear the right (kids) size for my height. Do I want to be that thin though?

I'm kind of bad at this

2lbs to lose til I reach my 10% goal. Again. I originally reached my 10% goal of 11st 4lbs on the 22nd of July last year, then got under 11st at the end of September. Now though, I'm back up to 11st 5lbs. On the new plan, my 10% goal appears to be 11st 3lbs. Not sure why it's different, but hey. Hopefully in a couple of weeks I'll get to see what's in the 'Totally 10%' booklet.

Though I doubt very much that I'll get a second one of these :)



My 10% keyring

I wanted to be a size 14 by Halloween. That didn't happen. Then I said Christmas. That didn't happen either. Now I'm thinking late March.

On the bright side though, I do seem to have had a bit of inch-loss, which is something. An inch from my upper arm, and half an inch from my hips in the past four weeks. Though I might just be holding the tape measure in a different place!

What a smoothie

I made my own smoothie/milkshake thing, inspired by this Weight Watchers recipe:



Mine was a slightly over-ripe banana, about half a pint of skimmed milk, and a pot of low fat strawberry yogurt, all blended together. Very nice it was too, and for a ProPoints value of 6.

Being used to the old Points, 6 sounds like a lot, but I don't think it's too bad. Even if that is a high ProPoints value, it was a healthy drink so I won't worry :) I only started on the new plan yesterday, so I'm still getting used to what points are in things.

I've been somewhat over-indulgent over the past few weeks, getting lazy and complacent with my point-counting (or rather, not counting). I didn't manage to reach my size 14 for Halloween target, which I am a bit miffed about. I'm still on my way down to size 14 though, and I will get there before Christmas! I think change, i.e. the new plan, should be the kick start I need to get me back on track, thinking about my food more, and therefore losing weight again.

These boots were made for walking ...

Stayed the same this week, grr. I've done more than twice the amount of exercise today than I did in the whole of last week, so I think I will have lost at next weigh-in (despite tonight's chips!). The ubiquitous pedometer tells me that I've earned 3.5 activity points today (compared to 1.5 points for the whole of last week), and that I've done 18347 steps and 7 miles. It did go beep while I was sitting on the bus though, so I'm not entirely sure how accurate it is!



I mentioned my Social Anxiety in the previous post, and my SA is to blame/thank for all the walking I've done today, as I've had to visit Remploy (an organisation that helps people with long-term illnesses and disabilities back into work) in Wolverhampton. I had my WW meeting this morning, so walking up the hill to that was the first mile. WW finished at 10:30, so I had some time to kill before I caught the bus at 1:15, which I of course spent wandering round Merry Hill (local mall), so that was another couple of miles. Then there was the wandering round the streets of Wolverhampton trying to follow the route Google Maps gave me, and then finding that the Remploy office was in fact a straight line from the bus stop (sigh). Still, I've got some exercise today, and I'll know where they are next time!

Talking of shopping, lots of the shops have their Halloween things in and, as I love all things spooky, I've been stocking up. Accessorize have a little Halloween range, and I had to have these bat studs. Only two weeks to go til I can put the decorations up - I can't wait!

What bad knee?

It occurred to me the other day, when the boyfriend and I were comparing ailments (lol), that my bad knee no longer hurts.

Boyfriend - Well I've got a bad back.
Me - Well I've got a bad knee ... Oh no I haven't!

It's actually got so much better that I had to think to remember which leg it was (the left, incidentally).

It used to be so bad in fact, that sometimes it would stop me from going out. I have a condition called Social Anxiety, and as part of my therapy last year I was told to go out every day for a week. So I was walking to the shops every day, which was good for me in terms of getting me out of the house, and was also good exercise, but wasn't so good for my bad knee. I woke up on the Saturday, after a week of walking, and found that I could barely move. I had a therapy group to go to that afternoon, which I couldn't go to because of the knee, so I was pretty miffed.

The knee wasn't that bad every day, but it still wasn't right. It would ache after a walk to and from the shops, and would quite regularly give way under me. Now that there's not so much weight on it, the days of the sore knee are (hopefully) behind me, and I'm very glad about that.